WHEREAS, the 72nd annual meeting of The American Society of Mammalogists was held at The University of Utah, Salt Lake City, Utah, on 14-18 June 1992; and
WHEREAS, we got more notes from the local committee and Rae Dawn Kartchner (is that a real person or a character out of M.A.S.H.?) than most of us got from our second grade teacher, and
WHEREAS, if the small dorm rooms (nest boxes) are ever discovered by animal rights' activists then we can expect a break-in to free our membership and a massive investigation of the University of Utah's animal use and care committee; however, the animal rights activists would appreciate the fact that the pillows were flat and contained only a single feather; and
WHEREAS, the dorm rooms were heated with energy generated by cold fusion; and
WHEREAS, the take-home message for lekking male mammalogists was: yes, it is possible that the earth can be moved; and
WHEREAS, the huge number of lost and disoriented mammalogists in Salt Lake City is proof that our membership cannot orient using a Cartesian coordinate system with the Mormon Temple as its epicenter; and
WHEREAS, disorientation even extended to members of the Local Committee as Norm Negus provided a tour of two-thirds of Utah trying to find the picnic ground for the Board of Directors; and
WHEREAS, either the University of Utah has not discovered WD40 to quiet squeaky chairs in meeting rooms, or, alternatively, if all that squeaking is the mating call of singing locusts or crickets, then we can only hope that a massive influx of seagulls (or Onychomys) is on the way; and
WHEREAS, the restricted few small signs to provide directions to dorms, registration tables, meeting rooms, etc., did not help you find the location, but singularly captured Brigham Young's declaration "This is the place!"; and
WHEREAS, as the bus stopped in front of a church filled with reveling mammalogists, the prayers and needs for the Host Resolution can be captured in the scripture (Job 1:21, "The Lord giveth.. ."); and
WHEREAS, who would believe the miracle of hundreds of mammalogists standing in line to go to a Mormon church to worship and commune with spirits and powers that be; and
WHEREAS, the ASM had its awareness of the issues of women and minorities in science heightened; and
WHEREAS, the desert was kind enough to present us with its annual rainfall, which would not dampen our spirits; and
WHEREAS, those of us who remember Stephen Durrant know that he would have been proud of the mammalogy, social interactions, and especially the libations served in his memory; and
WHEREAS, the barbecue and the band made quality and quantity synonymous; and
WHEREAS, the incredibly beautiful campus, spectacular panoramic views of mountains, deserts, and lakes, and vast expanses of lights provided aesthetic beauty that enhanced and enriched our meeting and contributed to our wonderful experience; and
WHEREAS, Carol Rowsemitt, Eric Rickart, and the Local Committee provided hospitality, beauty, organization, and a commitment to detail that made our meeting special beyond belief;
THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED that The American Society of Mammalogists expresses heartfelt thanks to The University of Utah, the Local Committee, and especially our colleagues Carol Rowsemitt and Eric Rickart for a truly memorable meeting.