WHEREAS, the 75th Anniversary Meeting of The American Society of Mammalogists was held at the Smithsonian Institution, Washington, D.C., on 18-23 June 1994; and
WHEREAS, we were bonded by the spirits of C. Hart Merriam, Vernon Bailey, H. H. T. Jackson, E. W. Nelson, Wilfred Osgood, T. S. Palmer, E. A. Goldman, Ned Hollister, Gerrit S. Miller, Walter P. Taylor, and Old Pronghorn Lager, among others; and
WHEREAS, C. Hart Merriam called his Washington office looking for Bill Hamilton; and
WHEREAS, the ASM took time to reflect on its history; and
WHEREAS, looking to the future, the Society elected women to three of its six offices and focused on biodiversity and conservation; and
WHEREAS, perhaps the most significant insight into biodiversity and conservation is that the biota of the Mall (listed in phylogenetic order) consists primarily of tourists, pigeons, English sparrows, starlings, and Rattus; and
WHEREAS, the Local Committee took the Society at its word on Sunday morning when we said "Yes, we would like A cup of coffee"... and "No, thank you, we would not like a donut or a cookie"; and
WHEREAS, we would like to thank the Local Committee for the nice terry cloth hankies placed in the dorm rooms, but we wonder why no towels were provided; and
WHEREAS, many of us accumulated frequent flyer miles getting to our rooms each night; and
WHEREAS, it is a mammalogical fact, rediscovered during the ASM visit to the National Zoo, that a litter of over 500 cannot be nursed in a timely or successful manner from only two spigots; and
WHEREAS, believe it or not, there IS enough space under that Ripley kiosk to house the Mammal Meetings; and
WHEREAS, the stairmaster physical fitness program at the Ripley Center (get everyone to the bottom and then turn off the up escalator) kept us all in excellent shape; and
WHEREAS, sojourns between the Ripley Center and the Baird Auditorium provided new perspectives on federally sponsored wetlands; and
WHEREAS, no matter what the crisis, Don Wilson used the ultimate defense of continually smiling through the whole meeting; and
WHEREAS, although the color-coded ribbons used to identify taxa of mammalogists were very exact, they were confusing to the average rat trapper; and
WHEREAS, the color of ribbon used to identify past presidents was called "vintage platinum" by past presidents, but was perceived as faded gray by younger members; and
WHEREAS, the member of the Local Committee who chose the shade of brown to identify editors must have had one of their research papers recently rejected; and
WHEREAS, building on the tradition of the ad hoc Beverage Committee, Michael Carleton and Jim Mead exhaustively surveyed local brewery flavors to ensure that the Society's hallowed logo was not compromised by being displayed on an inferior bottle of beer-are those guys committed to the ASM, or what?; and
WHEREAS, Jim Reichman left the Charlie Krebs Merriam Award buffalo grazing on the Konza Plains; and
WHEREAS, the absence of a significant anatomical part on the elephant in the Rotunda has puzzled many mammalogists during this meeting. Could the missing part provide an explanation for the situation shown in the "Spilogale" several years ago where an elephant ridden by two prominent mammalogists was reported to have two sphincters?; and
WHEREAS, keen sensitivity was shown by not putting the wills and bequests table next to the Hantavirus blood sampling room; and
WHEREAS, can you believe that the CDC thought that there might be some possibility that one of us may have been bitten by a mouse?; and
WHEREAS, President Patton is a quick learner and ran an efficient meeting and thereby avoided giving the Resolutions Committee any material to work with; and
WHEREAS, the diversity of biodiversity was captured in the Capstone addresses; and
WHEREAS, the 75th Anniversary Meeting lived up to our wildest expectations, including an abundance of fine foods and drinks at the Haupt Garden, the barbecue at the Zoo, the culture and aesthetics of the National Museum of Natural History, and an excellent plenary session; and
WHEREAS, the Local Committee was so friendly, efficient, and helpful that it will serve as an excellent role model for all future meetings. It's too bad the Local Committee isn't in control of the entire U.S. government;
THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED, that The American Society of Mammalogists expresses its heartfelt thanks to the Smithsonian Institution, Catholic University of America, the Local Committee, and especially our co-chairs Don Wilson, Michael Carleton, and Al Gardner for a truly memorable meeting and for bringing our past and future into perspective