WHEREAS, the 75th annual meeting of The American Society of Mammalogists was held at the University of Vermont, Burlington, VT, on 20-24 June 1995; and
WHEREAS, the record shattering 100 degree heat made tropical biologists feel right at home and had Texans yearning for more moderate climate below the 35th parallel; and
WHEREAS, the dorms in the Learning Center doubled as saunas to melt off the kilograms gained while nursing at the ice cream bar; and
WHEREAS, there was a significant misunderstanding on the name tags as to who required care from whom; and
WHEREAS, the Local Committee succeeded in getting more mammalogists to chapel in one day than had attended in the previous year, where they could see the light (but not the slides) and where they heard presentations that sounded like Lou Gehrig's farewell speech; and
WHEREAS, the fascinating typos in the program were matched by the drawing on the cover of belugas with an operculum, providing an opportunity to name a new species, the fish-headed whale; and
WHEREAS, the routes to all venues were amazing, and appeared to have been designed by an untenured experimental psychologist rather than an architect; and
WHEREAS, mammalogists were given the opportunity to sharpen their map-reading skills by being confronted with six different maps, none of which showed all the buildings and no two of which had the same name for all buildings; and
WHEREAS, these same mammalogists, after learning the runways between the Learning Center and the Union were confronted with drift fences and the fear of pitfall traps; and WHEREAS, the exchange of scientific ideas was fostered by randomly mixing people in long lines at the bars and cafeteria; and
WHEREAS, the outstanding Merriam Award presentation was punctuated by punk Lady Clairol Nice and Easy hairdos on seasonally active spermophiles; and
WHEREAS, the nightly feeding by larval vampire bats was warded off by the muskets of the Green Mountain Boys; and
WHEREAS, our esteemed President gave new meaning to Robert's Rules' and
WHEREAS, Ben and Jerry have employed a few mammalian monikers (such as Chunky Monkey, Chubby Hubby, and Cherry Garcia), the ASM Committee on Nomenclature recommends that Chocolate Chipmunk, Peromyscus ma-lick-ulatus, and Peanut Butter & Oatmeal be considered; and
WHEREAS, the 75th annual meeting was conducted under blue skies and beside blue waters, with lubrication from Leucopus Lager and Antilocapra Ale; and
WHEREAS, the Continuing Education division, the Local Committee, and the Chair, Bill Kilpatrick, were helpful, gracious, and efficient;
THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED that The American Society of Mammalogists expresses thanks to the University, the Local Committee, and Bill for a memorable and productive meeting.