Host Resolution - 83rd Annual Meeting, Texas Tech University, Lubbock, Texas

WHEREAS, the 83rd Annual Meeting of the American Society of Mammalogists was held at Texas Tech University, Lubbock, Texas, 21-25 June 2003; and

WHEREAS, in previous meetings, speakers were expected to submit abstracts before their research was completed, but this year the Local Committee set new standards by requiring completed Power Point presentations from speakers before they began their research; and

WHEREAS, the Local Committee had the foresight to select a prairie dog, the North American host of monkey pox as the conference logo, it failed to include a pock mark on Vernon Bailey's face; and

WHEREAS, personal GPS units would have been a welcome addition to the conference packet to help attendees navigate the Tech Campus and floors of Knapp and Horn Halls; and

WHEREAS, members of the Society were invited to witness the cataloging of Notiosorex cockrumi as the 100,000th specimen deposited in the Texas Tech Museum; and

WHEREAS, the Lubbock Inn advertised 57 as a special rate for guests, Society members did not realize that this number referred to the distance in miles to the Tech Campus; and

WHEREAS, we learned from John Bowles, our Grinnell Awardee, that learning is the responsibility of the learner; and

WHEREAS, George Batzli, our Merriam Awardee, showed us that recycling old slides into a Power Point presentation challenged both the teacher and the learner; and

WHEREAS, Society members were pleased with the aesthetic touch of adding colored confetti to the registration packets only to learn that the confetti was actually the picnic, banquet, and drink tickets; and

WHEREAS, we learned that all things in Texas are not so big, including bath towels in the dorms, signs on buildings, banquet tickets, toilet stalls, and the Officers' table at the members meeting; and

WHEREAS, we wondered if the bedding in Knapp and Horn Halls was installed to condition young field mammalogists for sleeping on the ground, with rocks as pillows.

WHEREAS, the cold temperatures in conference and dorm rooms prompted extraordinary human social behavior to help attendees appreciate the meaning of cold stress that was clearly articulated in the symposium Stress and Nature, and

WHEREAS, our student plenary speakers introduced new terminology for mammalogists, including "dashing squirrels," "edgy mice," and "super moms;" and

WHEREAS, George Feldhamer hosted a tasting session for beers in which the bottle depicted some mammal, where first place was awarded to Bubba Dog, which included an image of a golden retriever on the label, and last place was awarded to Old Rasputin, which depicted the tail of an unidentified Cetacean; and

WHEREAS, conference host, Robert Baker is encouraged to name his next golden retriever Bubba; and

WHEREAS, happiness is seeing Lubbock in your rear-view mirror; and

WHEREAS, only a West Texan would think that a parking lot is a proper place for a picnic; and

WHEREAS, all registrants, regardless of state or country of origin, were provided with a letter that supported a visa application to enter the State of Texas; and

WHEREAS, Pattersonian Rules of Order included voting on motions that were neither stated or recorded or failing to vote on motions that were on the floor; and

WHEREAS, the modern audiovisual equipment at Tech made it possible for Society members to inspect the ectoparasites on the hirsute arm of one of the AV technicians; and

WHEREAS, the drinking water on the Tech Campus reached new standards by including soap as an additive to freshen the taste; and

WHEREAS, parking permits issued to conference attendees were good for parking anywhere in Lubbock as long as it was not on campus; and

WHEREAS, paper for ballots was impossible to find during the first Members' Meeting, which coupled with the fear of hanging chads, prompted Barbara Blake to consider requiring all votes to be submitted electronically; and

WHEREAS, instead of signs for directions to session venues, the Local Committee thoughtfully placed at strategic places personnel who asked passersby, "Do you know where you all goin'?" raising the question whether these individuals were prepared to offer advice to mammalogists on the Hereafter or were wanting to tell us where administrators wanted us to go; and

WHEREAS, there were so many posters on nocturnal mammals, the Local Committee decided to periodically extinguish the lights; and

WHEREAS, due to the simultaneous registration of ASM members and new students, at least 20 mammalogists are now registered as freshman at Texas Tech; and

WHEREAS, those who attended the Cactus Theater where amused to see Ron Van Den Bussche impersonate Elvis Presley; and

WHEREAS, conference host, Robert Baker, was observed impersonating Buddy Holly, Roy Orbison, and Jerry Lee Lewis simultaneously at the Cactus Theater; and

WHEREAS, the Resolutions Committee invites Robert Baker to rejoin the committee next year; and

WHEREAS, the proliferation of WHEREASES prompted Journal Editor Barbara Blake, to request the Resolutions Committee to cut the length of the Host Resolution by 50%; and

WHEREAS, we all enjoyed the West Texas hospitality, a beautiful campus, a festive picnic, 50's music led by an extraordinary saxophonist;

THEREFORE, be it resolved that the American Society of Mammalogists express heartfelt thanks to Robert Baker and other members of the Local Committee and Texas Tech University for a wonderful, stimulating, and productive meeting.