Host Resolution - 87th Annual Meeting, University of New Mexico, Albuquerque, New Mexico

WHEREAS, the 87thannual meeting of the American Society of Mammalogists was held at the University of New Mexico, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 6–10 June 2007; and

WHEREAS, Mammalogists reminisced about the meeting 20 years ago and were reminded that the University's official color was adobe; and

WHEREAS, the University of the New Mexico experiment testing the Findley hypothesis “that if you want a job done right, hire a mammalogist,” is in place with David Schmidly as President and Terry Yates as Vice-President for Research and Economic Development, but will their experimental algorithm detect inbreeding depression; and

WHEREAS, Terry Yates had to abandon his limo-based Margarita pouring service for picking up mammalogists at the airport to adapt to his new administrative position; and

WHEREAS, Terry Yates gave us a lesson on Economics 101: How to make fortunes investing other people's money, advancing a new hypothesis that the best way to protect old people's retirement funds (including those of your parent's) is to donate them to the ASM's Pooled Fund, attend the annual ASM meetings, enjoy the free beer, and be assured that ASM Trustees will be wise investors; and

WHEREAS, rumor has it that President David Schmidly has recently purchased a home in Brookings, South Dakota and is looking for property in Fairbanks, Alaska; and

WHEREAS, the phone number given by Bill Gannon for all emergencies was Dial-A-Prayer; and

WHEREAS, shuttles could not be provided on Monday, June 11th—maybe that's why mammalogists were provided with personalized shipping labels; and

WHEREAS, Betty Horner would have enjoyed being carded for a glass of wine; and

WHEREAS, we wonder if all of the hot air generated at the ASM Board meeting on Wednesday was the genesis of continental wind storms that delayed and cancelled flights as far away as Denver; and

WHEREAS, Interstate 25 served as a test of a border wall to prevent free dispersal of mammals between Embassy Suites and campus (it worked for Mexican gray wolves and jaguars, but failed to prevent the movement of mammalogists); and

WHEREAS, the 2 mile trip to the starting line for the “Run for Research” was longer than the actual event; and

WHEREAS, Karen Mabry taught us that there is no place like home when Peromyscus choose a new dispersal site; and

WHEREAS, Jackie Methany taught us that big brown bats are not picky about the genetics of those they sleep with; and

WHEREAS, Ana Cutrera taught us that MHC selection in Ctenomys is an underground activity; and

WHEREAS, Ryan W. Norris revisited the geological age of the last ancestor of Rattus and Mus, and concluded that fossils and molecular data are significantly linked; and

WHEREAS, Sergio Solari taught us that even a short-tailed opossum merits respect and the cover of Nature; and

WHEREAS, we were relieved to find out that the term “Dome on the Range” referred to the construction of the Sternberg Museum and not to the characteristics of the cranial pelage of the Grinnell Award winner; and

WHEREAS, David McDonald provided new definitions of “to badger” which include grooming for parasites, long range dispersals for males and females, group sex, litters with multiple paternities and bum-kissing; and

WHEREAS, the tight corridor for the poster sessions and group photo promoted the first opportunity for mammalogists to try out the European badger greeting by bum-kissing; and

WHEREAS, mammalogists were treated to a scatological lesson in bathroom stalls in the dormitories with the newly published Bristol Stool Chart designed for field studies; and

WHEREAS the Human Diversity Committee had a difficult time getting mammalogists to complete their questionnaires, they resorted to a mark-recapture protocol using multi-colored wristbands in an experimental setting which would attract a maximum number of mammalogists (a bar with free beer and wine), Men-in-Black bouncers ensured a truly closed population, and many attendees were found to be trap-happy; and

WHEREAS, President Bob Timm demonstrated his taxonomic skills by synonymizing the positions of Recording Secretary and Treasurer without following the law of priority; and

WHEREAS, former journal editor Barbara Blake indicated that she was going to remain silent so as to not be included in this year's host resolution; and

WHEREAS, Barbara Blake, in withdrawal from all her editorial duties over the last 15 years, created errors in typing a list of nominees at the members meeting thereby requiring the use of one of our 4 new Associate Editor positions as an Associate Editor for Nominations; and

WHEREAS, the Latin word for bag is “scrotum” and this year's host has provided attendees with the most capacious meeting bags ever provided to meeting attendees of ASM meetings; this year's meetings shall be recognized as the year of “scrotum maximum”; and

WHEREAS, David Schmidly, who is well-known for using a chainsaw to separate the head from the body of a pygmy sperm whale, declared that despite the spacious capacity of this year's registration bag, it was insufficient to carry all of his field gear; and

WHEREAS, the Ombudsperson Dick Thorington proved that you can be squirrelly and still be recognized with the highest award from this society; and

WHEREAS, Jerry Choate was awarded Honorary Membership, although his Grinnell address was a big fish story; and

WHEREAS, the Local Committee made sure that we enjoyed wonderful weather, plenty of food and drink, and stimulating scientific talks and discussions; and

WHEREAS, the bands Nosotros, Syd Masters and the Swing Riders, and Mariachi Tenampa provided outstanding musical entertainment at our social events; and

WHEREAS, Jerry Dragoo and his partner Gwen provided a new activity, dancing with the stars; and

WHEREAS, the Local Committee provided an impressive insight into local culture in each meeting event;

THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED that the American Society of Mammalogists, meeting at its 87th Annual Meeting at the University of New Mexico, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 6–10 June 2007, provides our heartfelt thanks to Terry Yates, Joe Cook, David Schmidly, Jerry Dragoo, Jon Dunnum, Bill Gannon, Felisa Smith, Kathy Osborn, Heather Paulson and the rest of the Local Committee for all of their hard work and dedication in hosting a tremendously successful and rewarding scientific meeting.