WHEREAS, the 79th annual meeting of the American Society of Mammalogists was held at the University of Washington, Seattle, WA, on 20-24 June 1999; and
WHEREAS, it rained; and
WHEREAS, there was strong sex bias in the local fauna, with Starbuck's everywhere, but no Stardoes were observed; and
WHEREAS, the Local Committee is to be commended for retaining the standard T-shirt with the meeting logo rather than following the Seattle tradition, with pronghorn tattoos and mountain beaver tongue studs; and
WHEREAS, the architect that designed the Mc- Mahon and Haggett buildings must have missed class on the day they covered 900 angles. The climax of this motif was triangular showers with peek-a-boo opportunities; and
WHEREAS, the amplifiers in the dorm room walls greatly increased inter-room communication, keeping secrets to a minimum, and leaving little to the imagination; and
WHEREAS, amazing organization was achieved in McMahon Hall, permitting mammalogists to take a shower and stand in line for breakfast at the same time; and
WHEREAS, two hypotheses have been developed to explain why the dorm elevator buttons had the abbreviations K, P, D, and L. The first: K is for K-dining room, P is for P-lobby, L is for L-TV room, and D is for D-parking garage. The competing hypothesis is L is for long line, P is for pretty long line, K is for kinda long line, and D is for damn long line. Empirical data favor the second hypothesis; and
WHEREAS, it rained; and
WHEREAS, the Society enjoyed the scavenger hunt games facilitated by absence of signs to buildings and meeting rooms, randomized poster positions, changes in times for talks and the group photo, and changes in the location of the picnic; and
WHEREAS, President O. James Reichman appointed Sydney Anderson as Parliamentarian, but successfully ignored him. Expect Reichman to produce a new book on parliamentary procedure where the President is king. Jim refers to this book as the "King James" version; and
WHEREAS, at our meeting King James (known as "O J" to his mother) was an effective and benevolent monarch; and
WHEREAS, Tom Kunz received major funding for his research program from the cattle growers association. The growers new slogan "Eat more beef and avoid the side effects of phytoestrogens in leafy greens" is credited to Tom; and
WHEREAS, everybody, by George, appreciated the creative solution to the perennial mosquito problem by having an indoor picnic; and
WHEREAS, the roar of the crowd, coupled with our inability to hear auctioneer Thor Holmes, resulted in a silent auction that broke all records for dollars raised; and
WHEREAS, the Society honored Gordy Kirkland by running and walking, adopting new Bylaws, electing student Board members, and nominating everyone in attendance, plus others, for Director; and
WHEREAS, the Society contemplated the meaning of publish or print; and
WHEREAS, it rained; and
WHEREAS, we all enjoyed the myth of Mt. Rainier; and
WHEREAS, the Society appreciated the University of Washington authorizing bat graffiti on campus as a sign of welcome to visiting mammalogists; and
WHEREAS, our sojourn in Washington brought nostalgic thoughts of early Native Americans, Lewis and Clark, Walter Dalquest, Karl Kenyon, Victor Sheffer, and Murray Johnson; and
WHEREAS, we enjoyed a wonderful meeting on a campus adorned with an abundance of flowers, magnificent sculptured buildings, meetings in spacious rooms, with excellent audio visual facilities, coffee worthy of Seattle's reputation, and culinary delights of barbecue and salmon;
THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED, that the American Society of Mammalogists expresses thanks to the University of Washington, the College of Forest Resources, and to Steve West, Peggy O'Connell, Jim Hallett, and the Local Committee, for a wonderful and productive meeting.